Michael bans Elvis the Pelvis

I just love this pastoral letter penned by Archbishop Michael Gonzi in 1957. No matter how often I read it, it's quaint hysterical tone (forgive the pun) remains hilarious. Note how the Archbishop b'ghafsa ta' qalb does not refer to rock & roll but to iz-zifna tar-rock & roll. The poor guy probably did not even know that the words rock & roll were originally black slang for sex.

Lawrence and his friends want justice tomorrow

Eight years ago on Bondiplus, Lawrence Grech had the courage to tell the nation that as a child he was sexually abused by priests at St Joseph's Home in Hamrun. His friends, with faces concealed, gave similar testimonies. The programme led to a court case and tomorrow, 2 August, at 9am it is expected that judgement will be handed down.

Pope Benedict has already apologised for the pain Lawrence and his friends suffered. Now they all expect justice and they expect to get it tomorrow.

A 'super' coincidence, Julia?

Let's get the boring bits out of the way, shall we? In the coming days, the ethics board of the Institute of Maltese Journalists (IGM) should be publishing its judgement on an sleazy story published in Illum. Joe Mizzi, the former PBS chairman, was caught on tape is a state of stupor with tv cameras zooming in on him and, tellingly, with no one in sight to give him a hand. Although we don't know, and probably never will, there is a strong possibility that Mizzi was the victim of a 'super' set up, probably with his drink being spiked.

Franco can't attack himself

As a lawyer, Franco Debono has every right to represent Cyrus Engerer in a judicial protest against government over the leaking of his police charge sheet. Neither should Debono be prevented from taking on the job because he is a member of parliament. There were many instances in which lawyers who are also Nationalist backbenchers take their government to court on behalf of their clients.

So far, so good. But Franco Debono is not just a lawyer and an MP. He simultaneously wears a third hat. As a parliamentary assistant to the Prime Minister he is part of, in and represents government. It was Lawrence Gonzi who appointed him to the post, gave him an office in Castille and involves him directly in government business.

Edgar the Godfather - The Final Chapter

To conclude the trilogy, Coppola takes over from Spielberg and moves his cast and crew to the Police HQs in Floriana and the square in front of Xara Palace in Mdina.

Facts first. Edgar Galea Curmi (left) head's the prime minister's political secretariat. As luck would have it, he's also Cyrus Engerer's godfather. Soon after his godson resigns from the PN, his godson's father, Chris, is arrested for possession of marijuana.

No sex, just drugs & rocking logic - The Sequel

While the first movie was all about sex and scorned lovers, for it's sequel Spielberg delves into the world of marijuana.

Chris Engerer, Cyrus' father, was arrested for possession of a small amount of marijuana. The police clipped the handcuffs on Engerer Sr's wrists just six days after Engerer Jr defected to Labour. Could it be that the PN executed a nefarious plot to punish a turncoat by setting up his father's drug bust?

Sex, no drugs & rocking logic - The Journey Begins

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this summer's blockbuster coming soon to a theatre near you. It is the first part of a trilogy being produced by Stephen Spielberg on our shores as I write. The journey begins ...

Marvic Camilleri (left) and Cyrus Engerer, had a relationship which ran its course. Things seem to have turned sour and the former went to the police to accuse the latter of circulating pornographic images of him on the internet. Engerer was hauled in for questioning. Presumably convinced of his innocence, a few weeks later Engerer himself asked the police to bring charges against him in court.

You wanna pet this guy?

You are all for animal rights, right? And you are probably all for a sustainable welfare state for humans, right? Now would you agree to putting the two together to create, well, an Animal Welfare State?

What is an Animal Welfare State, you ask? It's quite simple really. Any one who decides to own a pet instantly puts an obligation on you the taxpayer to subsidise its medical care. Your neighbour's small crocodile needs dental work? You pay for it. Someone's chihuahua is psychologically disturbed because it wants to be a labrador? You, the taxpayer, foot its behavioural therapy bill.

Thanks Carlos, you took us to heaven

Santana's concert was one of the best to ever be put up in Malta. What made it so? I could rattle off a list of ingredients. There was the signature guitar sound of the man himself, the unflappable bass anchoring it, the multicoloured inventiveness of the three percussionists, the warm raunchiness of the two singers, the tidal waves of the keyboards buoying the entire band, and much more.

Forget Nescafe, Cyrus is the real instant one

“I resigned from the PN and joined Labour. However, on the [Sliema local] council I am independent ... They [voters] chose me for my abilities and because they knew me, as an individual, not as a party.” So spoke Cyrus Engerer.

Let me see if I get this straight. Engerer praises the PN and Lawrence Gonzi to high heavens but resigns from the party a few days later. He instantly joins the Partit Laburista and claims to have been instantly taken into Joseph Muscat's confidence. The latter is supposed to have told him what the party policies are, even though he has told no one else. A few days ago Engerer instantly turned from a Gonzi to a Muscat flunky, calling on us Gozitans from his facebook page to come out and meet the Labour leader on his summer tour of our fair isle.